Engagement Ring Dilemma

[CJC47]

Ok, here is the situation.

I bought a used ring online and had it checked out. Everything with the ring is A-ok. It's quality. I was getting things setup for next weekend.

Problem:

Some close friends of both of ours recently got into financial trouble. We learned that she had sold her ring over the Christmas Holiday to get her children some Christmas presents. Why I didn't accidentally buy that ring or anything, the whole situation caused my prospective wife to flip out about rings purchased used.

I'm in quite a pickle. What is my best course of action? Selling the ring and getting some of the money back, then finding a new one?

Thoughts?

[Ronzie]

First thing you have to do is lie. Tell her it's new.

Women :rolleyes:

[Wardo30]

wow tough situation....I think the only thing that will appease her is getting rid of the used ring and getting her a new one

[CJC47]

First thing you have to do is lie. Tell her it's new.

Women :rolleyes:



No kidding... lots of :rolleyes:. But are there any options besides lying? I'm pretty sure that one would come back to haunt me.

[ShakesO]

never ever lie.

do you have certificates etc. showing where you got it appraised etc? that's no different then buying instores. i look at getting one outside of stores as well, but i got tied up in all the weight/cut/etc and couldn't make a decision.

[CJC47]

never ever lie.

do you have certificates etc. showing where you got it appraised etc? that's no different then buying instores. i look at getting one outside of stores as well, but i got tied up in all the weight/cut/etc and couldn't make a decision.


That is my thought... I was thinking of just getting a new setting then having both appraised.

[ShakesO]

yeah, if you can even send the diamond to be certified GIA i think. they'll check the color, cut, clarity and carat size and make sure you're ok.

[shawnspookcity]

If she flips about the ring being used, tell her it was sold because of a called off wedding. Or better yet, just don't tell her anything about the ring. She should be happy enough to get one.



And an FYI, my wife's ring cost $80. It was a promise ring that I gave to her when I proposed (I finished grad school 2 days before and had no job) and told her I'd get her a nicer ring when I was working. She has the sentimental attachment to the promise ring, so I got off not spending thousands.

[jdg573]

Just give her the ring....if she can't accept the ring that you picked then you have the wrong women anyways..................

[ToightLikeATiger]

If she complains about the ring tell her fine youll sell it to get some money back but she isnt getting another one. The ring isnt that important. If she is going to make a big deal over it then the marriage itself isnt enough for her and that raises red flags.

[ShakesO]

Just give her the ring....if she can't accept the ring that you picked then you have the wrong women anyways..................

unless you bought her a superbowl ring, then you're the idiot :D

[CJC47]

Just give her the ring....if she can't accept the ring that you picked then you have the wrong women anyways..................



I agree... but I'm also a man... anyone want to get their wife/gf opinion on this?

[murda93ti]

Checked with my Wife of 5 years on this. She said that you should give her the ring. There should be no need for you to explain where you got it from and she should be happy she has it.

[jweber26]

Tell her she should be grateful to even be getting a ring, then slap her behind and tell her to get back in the kitchen and finish making that sammich! Women. Sheesh.

:)

[ToightLikeATiger]

but I'm also a man.

what is that suppose to mean? you cant live without this women? you would let a women walk all over you and disrespect you just because your afraid you couldnt get someone else?

you being a man really has nothing to do with it. it has to do with respect and love. if she is going to disrespect you and not accept a ring from you because it isnt the one she wants then she doesnt sound like a person you want to be with. its a huge red flag. if she truly loves you and wants a 50/50 relationship the ring doesnt matter. its just a ring. marriage is far more then that. but if she is going to raise a problem over a used ring then she seems to care about the ring more then you.

there are always other fish in the pond so to speak. i know its hard for some guys to think they could do better. but you dont have to settle for a bad relationship. if you give into something like this she is gonna be trying to control you the whole time. marriage is 50/50 anyone who says differently is in a bad relationship and should get out.

[yzerman_federov]

Tell her she should be grateful to even be getting a ring, then slap her behind and tell her to get back in the kitchen and finish making that sammich! Women. Sheesh.

:)

ROTFL ... I needed a morning chuckle :D

[Johnnyslapshot]

You can sell the ring to a jeweler. Keep the diamonds and stuff, have them make a new one. If you are near Philly, I know a guy, reputable too. If it's gold that will pay what value of gold is, which is high right now, if it's platinum, it's higher!

[yzerman_federov]

I agree with ShakesO, don't lie. Just give her the ring- there is no need for you to give an explanation on where you got it.

[snedden001]

Just tell her the truth, then work together to resell the ring and buy a new one. If you truly plan on spending the rest of your life with this woman, the worst thing you could do is start it all off on a lie. My wife still to this day treasures her engagement ring above everything else she has. It is a HUUUUGE deal for women. You will feel bad forever if you lie to her about this.

I have learned my lessons the hard way. Marriage is tough enough on the level, let alone getting a tangled web of lies going on top of it.

Yes, you are a man, and a MAN will be a stand up guy in situations like this. Do the right thing. She will appreciate it.

[madden821]

I guess my brain is a little slow to wake up today but why would she care if its new or used? Does she think that if she has to sell it later it won't be worth as much?

[CJC47]

I guess my brain is a little slow to wake up today but why would she care if its new or used? Does she think that if she has to sell it later it won't be worth as much?


I don't think she would have cared until our friends had to sell theirs because of financial troubles. A bunch of mutual friends tried to figure out where they sold it and buy it back for them, but have no clue where they sold. I think the idea that you are profiting from someone else misery is the big turn off.

[madcracker]

My advice would be to sell the ring to a local jeweler to make some of your money back and then use that money to buy something useful like an Xbox or tv.

[Thorondor 33]

The only thing rings are good for are spinning.

[shawnspookcity]

Unless your GF won the superbowl, she doesn't deserve a ring. ahahahh

[Frank Barone]

Easiest solution is to get a new setting, therefore the ring is genuinely new.

[ptrac30]

I don't know of very many women who wouldn't have a problem with a "used" ring. Even if they pretend it's not a big deal, it usually is. Women tend to be attached to the emotional side of things, and to think that the ring was intended for someone else at one time would stick with her. If you don't plan on telling her, that's fine, but it will be quite a burden to carry around.

I'd sooner get something new even if it meant going on a payment plan to do it. You should be able to get a nice 1 carat ring with good clarity and colorlessness in the 3000 dollar ballpark. This thing is for life.

[Radiation74]

Rent Blood Diamond, watch it together, and if she's that sensitive, she won't want a ring at all.

[jweber26]

Rent Blood Diamond, watch it together, and if she's that sensitive, she won't want a ring at all.

That's brilliant!